Monday, October 11, 2010

Berlin is...

A couple of weeks ago on a rainy grey September day,as i was returning home tired after work, exactly one of those days when you are ready to give up,i saw a huge poster on a part of the Berlin wall that reminded me all the reasons that make me thankful to be here.

In a city that used to be the symbol of division, no one feels but everyone is different and they all combine together in a magnificent mixture of creativity.

"Berlin is when a family doesn't have to look like a family"

And i am really happy i am a part of this family!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Eurovision 2010:Blue underwear,Safura quilts and the mb fun bus to Oslo!

So boys and girls.Here's my first view of this year's contest.If u don't mind i used some things i liked from other people,'cause most of my eurovision fun is my friends from messageboard.I also tried to find a past song title for each country,not always very successful!


Where's that grandma when you really need her?
Great start for this poor semi.Can't help but get carried away from the cheap popish sound,one of the few in the contest.
Let's get real:Not memorable enough.Bad live performance
Going home?Should just qualify,could just miss out.

Back to Volcanos
Grew on me.This is not the worst in the contest.Kind of nostalgic feeling.
Let's get real:First impression was worse than bad.Is it too much to predict that if they get into the final it will because of juries and not only friendly voting?
Going home?With the worst Russian record.But not on Wednesday.

Eighties coming back
I didn't realize the effect on me till i checked my itunes list.Still pumping in my head.Estonia not going plastic.The only way i like them.
Let's get real:Dated,could be a forgotten track on an 80s disc."What the hell" feeling" after the first listen.
Going home?Unfortunately

Neverending song
Worst ethnic imitation in years.Goes on and on without getting anywhere.Perfect example on Eurovision going trash
Let's get real:Many will fall for this.And liking failing countries is the new trend!
Going home?They are having their best result ever.That doesn't mean much though.

Let's hang around
They are fun.They are camp.Wanna dance and clap with them.They'll even give us free salmon at their party!
Let's get real:Could just sound retro.And possibly bad retro.People might make fun of them instead of having fun with them
Going home?My guess is as a bottom 5 but not on Tuesday

I hear your….boobs?
Hate my self for not hating it with passion!Catchier as catchy.Blonder as blond.I keep having this dream meeting her and declare my enthusiasm of her trying to save humanity.She won't get it.
Let's get real:She might represent the trash in me but not the trashy side of others.And she can't sing.
Going home?On Sunday.Doing a Diana.

The first ouch is followed by the second sing along.Even in Serbian.And it's Bregovic.And i'm listening to Bregovic long enough.Still not exactly his best.
Let's get real:Too Balkan for western ears.And yes,his looks.
Going home?After the final.With pride.

Nameless river
Don't even remember the tune.Don't even wanna remember the tune.After two great years Bosnia is going back to my bottom list
Let's get real: It's the worst semi ever.And there are worse….
Going home?Probably as 11th in the semi.

2 long
This goes nowhere,reminds me of Krassimir.Please give as an awful performance.We are perfect at karaoking those for years to come.
Let's get real:Real?We are real
Going home?On Sunday,only because they'll get drunk and wanna watch the final live

Let the sun shine for them!
And now the opposite.Sweet.Lovely voice.James Blunt feeling.Just a guitar.
Let's get real:Might get boring after a few listens.But they only need one!
Going home?I think it's about time we open an envelope that says Belgium.But don't expect to hear it that much in the final

They dream.Again.
Cheese at its worst.More boring than their Maltese Airways preview videos.Can we cook that bird?
Let's get real:They might scrub in,the voice is good and a female ballad is meant to from this semi.NOT!
Going home?Whining

Carry me in your dreams babe!
Loved it from day one!Great color of voice for this kind of jazzy sound.Makes my mood!
Let's get real:They are perfect at ruining things at the right moment.But we don't know that for sure yet.
Going home?Hopefully with a place at lower top10 in the final.If they come up with some creature on stage again,somewhere near 15th.

You know,my bro and Dominica,his lovely Polish girlfriend visited me last weekend.I forced them to watch some eurovision.Me and my bro were having a blast making fun of this.It was the girlfriends' favourite.Really,that says it all.
Let's get real:It's what they do best.And what i hate the most.Will the juries appreciate it?
Going home?Top10er.Lower top5 at best.

Before Goodbye
Not even the Portuguese voted for this.Why should we?There's also not a chance of a hilarious performance.This HAS to be the pee brake.
Let's get real:Cyprus can rely on them.Then,we'd have to be the worst.
Going home:Oh,yes it is

Dawn,don't rise
Watching their final was one of the worst experiences for my ears.Couldn't even remember this when they announced it won.
Let's get real:There are worse.But you only need one hand to count them.
Going home:For a third time in a row after the semi.For third time in a row,deservingly.

This pretends to be so much more than it is.Snooze fest and very easy.
Let's get real:There actually are people and juries to fool.Serves them right!
Going home:Tricky…wouldn't rule it out,wouldn't be surprised if it failed badly.

Her final dance?
Euro pop.Not at its best.Not giving what it's promising.Hideous dress.Better new version.
Let's get real:She is singing last.And she could wake up some people that will sure need this after going through this semi.
Going home?On Sunday but still sad.


Oh no you are not.
The 2nd time around is not that fun.First time wasn't that fun either.And repetition never did anyone good.Could hate it more to tell you the truth.
Let's get real:It's crazy,they kicked out screaming girls that thought they could win the NF,it's the opener,it's on its own style.Well,not everything completely true but still…
Going home?My feeling says yes,pretty early.

Let's go!
Was waiting something more bouncy from them to tell you the truth.Still,this rolls in my ears and wouldn't stop it when it comes up.Fair enough.
Let's get real:It might be as bouncy as this contest can get.And that might be enough
Going home:I dare to say in the top5.Not sure i believe it though.

He nails every not and makes this boring little thingy sound like a real song.There are people that actually cared writing one though
Let's get real:He is one of the best singers in this contest.He is an eye candy.He should really come back one day.Juries will love it.Can it be that successful with televote?
Going home?With a top10 place.And that not guaranteed.

Shame on you Denmark!
I hate every single word they sing.This is easy.And plastic.And Danish.That's not always bad but in this case it is.
Let's get real: I hate to admit it but this so stands out.It's the perfect recipe for a Cheesecake.And the performance works.
Going home:Unfortunately not soon enough.Probably as a top10er.Maybe even more.Hopefully not high enough to make me violent.

Don't leave without him!
Eurovision schlager at its best!The rhythm,the jacket,the ears!You have to like it!
Let's get real:Who on earth is going to vote for this?But he could lend his ears,there are a couple of singers that might make good use of them
Going home:With the last semi place

Once upon a time,in Stockholm
It's their best in years.If you want contemporary this is the one.And she is lovely.And she has the sweetest of voices.
Let's get real:Really Swedes,you've picked to leave schlager at home the year you shouldn't.'Cause this just might get lost between this semis ballads.On the other hand,this is by far the most original ballad here….
Going home:Still not 100% sure but probably Sunday.In the final,lower top10 or just outside is not out of the question.

It's not the best song in this contest.She doesn't sing up to expectations.She should stick to horseback riding.When she shouts "I looooove youuuuu" it's like sirens in my head.Drip drop is the hammer to finish me up.Can i help for that quilt?
Let's get real:Yes,it's kind of contemporary.Yes,they are gonna need 50 pair of shoes each till the contest is over.Yes,they have diaspora.It would still be the worst live vocal performance of a winner ever.
Going home?As losers.Top5 or Top10 is irrelevant,still as losers.

Hasta la vista
All the trouble for this?I wouldn't mind it if they didn't have to add the cheesy lyrics.And she can sing
Let's get real:Still has chances.And it's still Ukraine.And there are much worse.
Going home?I have to say Friday.Not sure though.

You ARE the lady!
This could be the theme of the mb fanbus to Oslo.It's so camp but also so catchy you just have to sing along.
Let's get real:Is this really the year they decided to make their best to send a qualifier?Why didn't they?
Going home?What's the last flight to Amsterdam on Thrusday night?

Tell me why
Boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy.Why?And ditch him.She is perfect.Kind of getting used to it by now,at some points pleasant.Catchy and poppy yes,but Sha la li is still in my head
Let's get real:It's sailing in the final.It's doing good there.And loose those pianos earlier.
Going home:With a respectable top10 place.

Wake up!
Pfff….will you just stop the noise?IS it suppose to be the not ethnic entry they chose?What's happening to my used to be favorite country?
Let's get real?Are they sure they want to go to Oslo?
Going home?Too soon

Why she?
It's Niahm.And i don't hate it as much as i should.It's a ballad that builds up with a perfect vocal performance.And i don't love it as much as i should.The song itself misses that extra touch that would make me go on orgasm.And it's Niahm.
Let's get real:She performs it perfectly.And she's certainly worked on that nose voice all these years.Well,not enough.But me not liking the color of her voice doesn't say much,'cause most do.And let Jonas do the staging.Now!
Going home?I'd say it's a borderliner,leaning to 9th more than 11th.And if in the final,certainly above the semi1 crap.

DJ don't you ever dare to take me away!
Guilty pleasure.I know,it just goes nowhere,it's an empty chorus,he's looking hideous on stage.Well,i don't care.I can't stop listening to it.On repeat.
Let's get real:Do they want to qualify with this chorus?Can't they see that with minor changes this could go through?
Going home?Would be great to see this in the final,but we won't.

Only for us
Well,well,well.At last something to be proud of.The first "nice" and "decent" reaction,revolved to a "my best radio song" of the year.Well structured,simple,effective.
Let's get real:Oh,yes it's effective the 14933th time.But this is not instant.We've learned how to write songs,still haven't how to do eurovision
Going home?We'll stay till Sunday.We've learnt to behave the last couple of years and our singers get tickets for the final.Still a slight chance for our 12th semi place to become a 10th.

You may have all the love
There has to be something ex-yugo that i like.This year,it's Croatia.Lovely ballad,a slight touch of slavic sound,good performance….Oh yes i know i am easily pleased but i survived so far.
Let's get real:It has what it takes.My small doubt is the performance.Yes,i know it's perfect.Well,not for something that pretends to be quality
Going home?I dare to say as a top5er.Then again everyone,including me,made the mistake last year to think that the best ex-yugo goes to top5.

Visionary dream?
You know when every song is a ballad,and you are not a native English speaker you run out of words.But i like it.Not as much as i did at first,but i like it.
Let's get real:Georgia with something decent equals final.Hm…What if it's squeezed between better ones,and right after a not so different one?
Going home?Right now,i'd have to say on Sunday.But if Lithuania,Cyprus and Ukraine can still hope,this is the first reason they do.

For real
It rocks.I love it.I was waiting for this from the day they announced the band.And it's up to expectations.And the new version is great.
Let's get real:Too bad there are no LED screens.I can imagine them getting smashed during this performance.No diaspora needed this year!
Going home?The typical answer would be in top10 but maybe we should just look for the usual suspects to win this weird year?But yes,this is unpredictable with the juries

Night for him?
Here come the goodies.Loved the retro feeling from day1,was so obvious in the Spanish final,sweet,effective and instant,this is simply my thing.
Let's get real:Come on,Spain singing at rank2?Still,in my opinion one of the few that have the ability to attract both juries and public.
Going home?I know i am not objective but i can still see it winning.Is it this that sweet enough to do it,'cause eurovision is known of sending the "nice" ones home with heads down.


Do Re Mi
And this has for me that extra touch.Gets big at the end,the camera loves him ,the fire works are burning and he manages to get the wow applause.I know i am being tricked here,but i don't care.
Let's get real:A ballad singing 3rd?And i might get tricked but why should anyone else?
Going home?It is home!

Why do i always get it wrong?
It's already said that what's worse than being bad,is making no impression at all.And no matter how many versions they do,it remains so.
Let' get real?No,they should!
Going home?I really can't see any other place for this than last

World cup time indeed!Although not that original,well produced, and serves what it's meant to serve.Fun!
Let's get real:When was the last time they cared to put on a good performance for their up tempos?If they do anyway why shouldn't it just scrub in top10?
Going home?No i won't say straight top10.'Cause the chances of seeing random backing singers wondering on stage are big.Wouldn't rule it out though.

Girl ruling my world!
Love,oh love.Blue underwear and painted toenails.Craziness,weird English and scary expressions.Was about time to hear something different in this contest
Let's get real:Well my love for her may be blind but i know very well,that the chances of doing well are quite equal with the chances she fails badly.And last performances weren't really up to it.
Going home?Could be first,could be last.Oh wait!Second last.

Oh,and by the way,of course it's not objective!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Großkirchheim,Austria:Village of shame

A couple of days ago,i happened to watch in the German channel ZDF a cover about a village in in Kärnten,Austria called Großkirchheim (translation:Big church place).The reason a small beautiful village of 1500 inhabitants became a story,is not flattering.Großkirchheim is an almost "strict Austrian" place and foreigners are not really welcome there.By the words of their own mayor,Peter Suntinger,the village authorities "prevent Muslim from buying land" and try to "keep foreigners away from their village".

Großkirchheim is one of the areas in Austria that one of the nationalistic parties,BZO has managed to maintain majority.In the last

Parliamentary Elections FPO and BZO the two ethnicist parties,captured more than 28% of the public vote,preserving the name of Austria as one of the most nationalistic countries in Europe.

Of course,the problem appears not only in Austria.In the last 10 years,these kind of parties in whole European continent have increased their power,reminding that the problem is not a small exception,rather than a storm that comes ahead of us.When i googled the villages' name for this article,one of the webpages that came along was the page of "European Alliance for Rational Thought" which is "Dedicated to helping preserve our Western way of life by providing readers with news and information pertaining to the many threats posed by Islamic/religious theology, political correctness and moral relativism while at the same time promoting Secularism and free speech.".

It's not surprising that these opinions appear always in times of economical crisis,increased unemployment and growth of poverty.The easy way for many people-and the easy way to trick them-is to place the blame to someone that is "different",forgetting that he or she is also a human being fighting for the best and struggling to maintain rights we consider natural. They tranfer the problem that liberal policies and wild capitalism create to a problem of immigration.

The funny thing is,many nationalists evoke the preserving of European values whereas at the same time with their acts,policies and opinions,they are the ones that override them.We,in Europe,like and want to be called different while tolerance,accepting the different and freedom in all its forms and ways is historical and political our acheivement.

Unfortunatelly though,acheivements of the past can only be usefull as guiding lights for the future.Minds like Großkirchheim's and our tolerance towards them only leads to the darkest pages of our past...

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Εκλογές 2009:Αλλαγή;Ποια αλλαγή;

Τελίωσαν και οι εκλογές...Ποιες εκλογές δηλαδή αφού τα σενάρια ήταν για άλλη μια φορά προεπιλεγμένα και προαποφασισμένα...Και να σου τον Γιωργάκη να καμαρώνει πρωθυπουργός!Και δίπλα του φυσικά να καμαρώνει και το Μαργαριτάκι.

Για τον ελληνικό λαό όμως,τι σημαίνει αυτή η αλλαγή;
Τα επόμενα ένα-δυό χρονάκια την γλίτωσε...Τι,την γλύτωσε δηλαδή που ήδη βυθίζεται στα χρέη και την ανεργεία.Απλά δεν θα φορτωθεί πολύ σύντομα επιπρόσθετα βάρη.Κάθε νέα ελληνική κυβέρνηση (τι νέα δηλαδή,κάθε ελληνική κυβέρνηση του ΠΑΣΟΚ ή της Νέας Δημοκρατίας),δοκιμάζει αρχικά ένα "ανθρώπινο κουστούμι", μέχρι την στιγμή που αρχίζει να σφίγγει από την πολυφαγία και είναι ανάγκη να αλλάξει.Και την θέση του παίρνει ένα μεγαλύτερο κουστούμι,σαν αυτά που φορούσε ο Κωστάκης (αραγε κυοφορούσε αυτός τα δίδυμα;),αυτό της εγκράτειας και των ελλειμμάτων,της φοροδιαφυγής και των σκανδάλων.
Κάθε σκεπτόμενος άνθρωπος,που θέλει να λέει ότι ασχολείται ή παρακολουθεί πολιτική ξέρει ότι οι πολιτικές δεν αλλάζουν με τα πρόσωπα.Και ακόμα και εάν δεχθούμε ότι σπάνιες προσωπικότητες φέρνουν την αλλαγή,ο Γιώργος Παπανδρέου δεν είναι μια απ'αυτές.
Τα οικονομικά ελλείμματα που ανακοινώθηκαν από την επόμενη των εκλογών δεν τα δημιούργησε μόνη της η Νέα Δημοκρατία.Το ΠΑΣΟΚ της εκμετάλλευσης και της πλουτοκρατίας των 90ς δεν είναι διαφορετικό-ούτε θα γίνει-από την Νέα Δημοκρατία της διαφθοράς και της κακοδιαχείρησης.Κονδύλια της Ε.Ε. έκαναν φτερά σε περιόδους ΠΑΣΟΚ,όπως και σε περιόδους Νέας Δημοκρατίας, καταστάσεις όπως φοροδιαφυγές εκατομμυριούχων την στιγμή που για τον κοσμάκη αυξανόνταν οι φορολογίες είναι πασίγνωστες και στις δύο κυβερνήσεις ενώ μεγαλοεπιχειτηματίες και χοντροί μεγαλοβιομήχανοι βρίσκονται πίσω από τις καμπάνιες εκλογών τους.Εξυπηρετούν άλλωστε και οι δύο τον ίδιο σκοπό,την "ανάπτυξη" σε βάρος τωκ κοινωνικών παροχών,την "παγκοσμιοποίηση" σε βάρος της κοινωνικής δικαιοσύνης.

Την ίδια στιγμή ΚΚΕ και Συνασπισμός συρρικνώνονται.Στις πρώτες τις δηλώσεις η Αλέκα Παπαρήγα είπε ότι "έρχεται θύελα και αντιλαικά μέτρα" ενώ την ίδια ώρα "Δεν καταγράφει (το εκλογικό αποτέλεσμα)τις όποιες θετικές διεργασίες συνείδησης πραγματοποιήθηκαν μέσα στο λαό όλα αυτά τα χρόνια".Πολύ όμορφα τα λες Αλέκα μου και συμφωνώ μαζί σου αλλά την ευθύνη αυτή ποιος θα την κουβαλήσει στις πλάτες του;Και δεν μιλώ για την οφθαλμοφανή, άμεση ευθύνη που όφειλαν εδώ και χρόνια να αναλάβουν τα δύο μεγάλα κόμματα.Αναφέρομαι στην άλλη ευθύνη την ηθική ευθύνη της Αριστεράς που έιναι εμφανές ότι δεν καταφέρνει να πείσει και να ψηφιστεί. Και θα συμφωνήσω άλλη μια φορά μαζί σου ότι ο λόγος που δεν ψηφίζεται δεν έχει να κάνει τόσο με τις πολιτικές της Αριστεράς (φόβος μη σχηματισμού κυβέρνησης,μικρή προβολή από ΜΜΕ,υποσχέσεις και ρουσφέτια) αλλά από την άλλη,πόσα χρόνια πρέπει να περάσουν για να καταλάβει το μεγαλύτερο κόμμα της Αριστεράς ότι πρέπει να ανακαλύψει διόδους επαφής και επικοινωνίας με τον απλό πολίτη;
Ακόμα πιο δυσοίωνο για μένα όμως ήταν το άκουσμα των δηλώσεων Τσίπρα ο οποίος δεν απεμπόλισε μόνο τις ευθύνες αλλά προχώρησε και ένα βήμα πιο πέρα...πανηγύριζε για την είσοδο του Συνασπισμού στην Βουλή.Ε λοιπόν,η Αριστερά δεν πανηγυρίζει όταν ο λαός υποφέρει,όύτε πανηγυρίζει όταν από το αποτέλεσμα μειώνεται η επιρροή της-η οποία θέλω να πιστεύω ότι είναι ακόμη θετική.Ο χαμένος είναι ο ελληνικός λαός και ενθουσιασμοί για αυτή την κατάσταση,στην οποία όλοι συνέλαβαν,δεν χωράνε.Και ακόμα χειρότερο είναι ότι στον ΣΥΡΙΖΑ δεν φαίνεται να έχουν καταλάβει ότι με την νέα κυβέρνηση δεν πρόκειται να αλλάξουν πολλά."Το σημαντικό, όμως, για την κοινωνία δεν είναι το αν αλλάζει η κυβέρνηση. Είναι το αν θα αλλάξει και η πολιτική που μας κυβερνά",τάδε έφη Τσίπρας.Ας περιμένουμε άλλη μια τετραετία λοιπόν,να δούμε μπας και αλλάξει κάτι.

Η αποτυχία των κομμάτων της Αριστεράς να πείσουν,δυστηχώς στις τελευταίες εκλογές ξεπέρασε το φράγμα της μίας ακόμη ίδιας κυβέρνησης.Συνοδεύτηκε και με αυξηση των ποσοστών του ΛΑΟΣ. Δυνάμεις όπως το ΛΑΟΣ,δυνάμεις ξενοφοβίας και ρατσισμού, δυνάμεις αποκλεισμού της διαφορετικότητας και των μειονοτήτων, βρίσκουν αντίκρυσμα μόνο σε κοινωνία όπου η Αριστερά είναι ανέτοιμη.Κι αυτό γιατι ο λαός,λόγω της οικονομικής απόγνωσης και εξαθλιωσης,στρέφεται στην πιο εύκολη λύση:Δεν φταίει το οικονομικό Status Quo,δεν φταίνε οι αντιλαικές πολιτικές,ο φταίχτης είναι ο άνθρωπος που και αυτός πασχίζει να "βγάλει το ψωμί του" και να αποκτήσει βασικά ανθρώπινα δικαιώματα,απλά και μόνο επέιδή είναι διαφορετικός.Είναι πραγματικά λυπηρό-τουλάχιστον για 'μένα-που έστω ένα μικρό αλλά και σημαντικό ποσοστό,κάνει πισωγύρισμα σε εποχές ντροπής για το ελληνικό κράτος.

Έχοντας κρίνει όλους και όλα-εμάς να δούμε ποιος θα μας κρίνει :)- άφησα τελευταίο,αλλά και σπουδαιότερο,τον ίδιο τον ελληνικό λαό.Για άλλη μία φορά αποδεικνύει ότι δεν θέλει να ωριμάσει μέσα από τον δικό του αγώνα για μια καλύτερη ζωή.Πάντα,όταν πέσει η αυλαία των πανηγυρισμών και των χαμένων ελπίδων,αρχίζει η στιγμή της γκρίνιας.Γκρίνια για τα δύο μεγάλα κόμματα και την κατάσταση που μένει η ίδια,γκρίνια για τον μισθό που δεν φτάνει ούτε για το νοίκι,γκρίνια για τους άνεργους επιστήμονες και τις χαμένες σοδιές των αγροτών.Η γκρίνια όμως,και η αναγνώριση των προβλημάτων,μπορεί να έξελιχθεί σε δημιουργική διαδικασία μόνο όταν μεταμορφωθεί σε πράξη.Και στην συγκεκριμένη περίπτωση,το δικαίωμα της ψήφου ήταν η φωνή που όφειλε να δώσει σημαντικά μηνύματα.Και δεν τα έδωσε...

Monday, September 28, 2009

Is Love a selfish procedure?

When Wolfgang called to tell me that he and Helge broke up i wasn't suprised.Helge pushed him the last few months very much.She bekame unreasonable.She couldn't control her urges.She got jelous every time she wasn't with him.They were fighting every second day.And this situation was not only unbearable for him.She was suffering also.And she knew she was not always right.
Wolfgang was the one i met first.He was a friend of a Spanish friend i met during my German language course.And when the course finished and Jose flew back to Spain,we started to hung out even more and bekame friends.
He is at his early fortys,lives in Berlin since fifteen years but comes originally from Hannover.He works as a painter in all sorts of ways,through teaching,painting,having exhibitions,giving seminars and his interests revolve around Art in general: Cinema, Photography, Theatre, Museums.He is the handsome artist type of guy with his cheecky green eyes,his polite manners and his modern attire.The first wrinkles in his face make him even handsomer and although he knows it,he pretents he doesn't.There's something mysterious about him and maybe that's the reason i was intiguated to maintain Contact with him,although he's not completelly the type i would be friends with.What i find weirder (and even more weird coming from an Artist) is that he always thought that Love is a selfish procedure."People love to be loved",he says,"that can only be called selfish".
Not long after our friendship,he met Helge.Therefor,they both became my friends in the same period.
Helge is so much alike him and yet so different.She's moved here from Dresden a year ago and still didn't find her routine in Berlin. She's thirty and one would say from a first glance that she's even prettier than Wolfgang.Her short blond hair,her simplicity and her open heart win you at once.Her profession is something much more practical,she works as a Biologist at a Univercity in a small city near Berlin.At the same time though,she loves Music and Theatre,she allready worked part time as a columnist in a local newspaper in Dresden (without needing more money,just because she liked it) and i always enjoy drinking coffee with her in the weird,artistic and unique cafes in Prenzlauer Berg.
Something did seem to go wrong with their relationship from the beginning.Although they both seemed in love and one could see the glint on their eyes all the time,it seemed that Helge was doing all the compromises.Of course i didn't say something and i am pretty sure that they didn't realise it at that point.The only common friend they had was me.Apart from that if i wanted to go out and see both of them together,it had to be with Wolfgang's friends.Helge at the beginning had very few real friends here but she did have people to go out with,and all kinds of them,colleges, party friends, artists.But Wolfgang couldn't find any of them interesting.
If they wanted to sleep together that had to be at Wofgangs'.Helge's place was fortyfive minutes from the city centre so it seemed easier for both of them at the time and too difficult for Wolfgang who did work a lot to travel there (I think he only went there once,the second week after they met).In the whole one year the relationship lasted they never went on holidays because Wolfgang didn't have the time for it.However he did have time for the glomourous openings,to have guests every second month and to spend a whole weekend after a tiring week for sports and saunas.
When Wolfgang was ill and Helge had a very important presantation at work he asked her(but not demanded) to stay for a couple days at his place,and she did.When Helge was ill he told her that maybe it's better to stay at home because going to his place might tire her even more.
At some point Helge realised that things weren't turning out as she wished and dreamed of.Her way of dealing with it was talking to him upfront,like she always did with everyone.That scared Wolfgang who moved further away.I remember him telling me that he was feeling pressured,that he loved her in his way but wasn't sure if she could fullfil his deeper needs,if she was the one for him.Helge sensed it and her reaction was to find ways to approach him...She kept proposing Activities Wolfgang liked and could bring them closer:a classical concert, the opening of a new Gallery,the latest movie of his favourite director.Wolfgang rarely agreed to get along with them.
The last part of the play was disastrous.Helge was not the sweet next door girl anymore.She got demanding,unreasonable demanding.She gave him a hard time every time he'd say no to one of her requests,she became really pushy and jelous,not so much because he'd sleep with another woman but because he was gonna spend time with someone else,college,friend,even a gallery owner,she felt that he was stealing time from "their" time.Wolfgang was suffering also,his work was influenced,he didn't want to go out anymore and was afraid to pick up the phone because Helge might get jelous.
After a one month trip in France,where he had to go for an exhibition,he had a week to spend with Helge before the beginning of his new project.Helge got some time off work and was also looking forward to it.They both felt that this week could be their chance to rebuild something together.They still had hope.Unfortunately the dream became a nightmare.A week of constant fighting and accusations led to a common decision of breaking up.They were both sad but it couldn't go on anymore.
The following weeks were bad for both of them.Wolfgang felt that there was something missing from the apartment.He turned around in bed trying to hug Helge.He worked a lot trying to forget his loneliness.And Helge?Helge got depressed.She managed to get some weeks more off work and the first couple of them were spent in crying.
Wolfgangs' love was indeed selfish.He rarelly made any comprimises,and when he did,they didn't come naturaly.He expected and asked Helge to be always there.Or better,not always,only when he needed her.When she needed him,he was available only when he didn't have something better to do.He never really gave himself,and deep down he knew it.His fear of giving too much and maybe getting hurt was bigger than the tenderness he felt for her. And his mind,his quote and what he beleived came true.
Helge's love was also selfish.When she realised that she wasn't living what she dreamed and that she was making all the comprimises, she couldn't control her self anymore.She couldn't control her own fears,the fact that her soul was now naked in front of him.
The difference is that her love was not selfish from the beginning.Back then she had a fearless mind,she made the compromises without seeing them as compromises,she felt that the problems are beatable when they do love each other.
It's very convinient to say that Wolfgang will feel miserable for letting Helge going and that he'll never be able to really love someone.I can't know that.But i do know that Helge,after a few months will not feel sorry for letting Wolfgang go and that she will be able to give herself to someone that will really worth it because she proved she can do it.

I am not sure if i agree with Wofgang,psychologically and philosophically,that love is a selfish procedure.I have to admitt that despite my romantic nature he does have a point.You give and take.You give to take.And when you don't take anymore you stop giving.
What i am sure about is that love is a selfish procedure always when you see it as one.This love was destined to fail.If you don't fool yourself,if you don't let yourself let go despite your fears and your defences,then it's not only selfish,it can't be called Love anymore.
If there is such thing as a non-selfish love then i feel lucky to say that i had it once,even if it was just for two years.

Thank you,not only for the things you gave me but also for showing me that i am also capable of giving too.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

To Synaspismos or not to Synaspismos

Στισ επικείμενες Βουλευτικές Εκλογές στην Ελλάδα,όπως ήταν αναμενόμενο,τα δύο μεγάλα κόμματα,Νέα Δημοκρατία και ΠΑΣΟΚ ή ΠΑΣΟΚ και Νέα Δημοκρατία (η αλλαγή στην σειρά δεν έχει σημασία,η αλλαγή στην τσέπη του κοσμάκη μένει η ίδια), φαίνεται να συγκεντρώνουν ποσοστά που ξεπερνούν το 80%.Την ίδια στιγμή δυνάμεις ξενοφοβίας και ρατσισμού,όπως το ΛΑΟΣ δείχνουν να αυξάνουν (ή τουλάχιστον να εδραιώνουν) την επιρροή τους στα στρώματα και τις κοινωνικές δομές της χώρας.
Μέσα από αυτή την απογοητευτικότατη κατάσταση, για ένα λαό ο οποίος πέρασε φουρτούνες, αλλά και δεν δείχνει να διδάσκεται από τις φουρτούνες που πέρασε,η κοινοβουλευτική ευθύνη για μια εναλλακτική, ανθρώπινη, ιδεολογική πολιτική πέφτει στα δύο μεγαλύτερα κόμματα της Αριστεράς,ΚΚΕ και ΣΥΡΙΖΑ.Και ενώ το ΚΚΕ,με τα θετικά και αρνητικά του,δείχνει μια σταθερότητα ποσοστών ανάλογη της σταθερότητας των θέσεων του (που πολλές φορές χαρακτηρίζεται "ακραία" ή "σκληροπυρηνική,ωστόσο είναι φανερό ότι το Κουμμουνιστικό Κόμμα καταφέρνει να διατηρείται και ως εκ τούτου να διεκδικεί),ο Συνασπισμός Ριζοσπαστικής Αριστεράς πασχίζει για άλλη μια φορά να μπει στη Βουλή και στα καλύτερα σενάρια παρουσιάζει μείωση.
Αυτός ο "Αγώνας" για είσοδο στην Βουλή είναι πολύ γνώριμος στον Συνασπισμό.Με μικρές αυξομειώσεις,παραμένει πάντα γύρω στο 4%,μεταξύ φθοράς και αυθαρσίας,διακηρρύτοντας πάντα ότι η διπολικότητα,το επιθετικό ΚΚΕ,οι συγκυρίες και τα ΜΜΕ πολεμούν τον Συνασπισμό των Αριστερών κομμάτων.Ακόμα και εάν κάποιος αποδεχτεί όλα αυτά,οι ευθύνες της Αριστεράς,οι ευθύνες αφύπνισης και αλλαγής δεν θα έπρεπε να επιτρέπουν στο ίδιο το κόμμα (και αυτό ισχύει ως ένα βαθμό και για το ΚΚΕ),να κρύβεται μέσα από δικαιόλογίες ή καταστάσεις που δεν μπορούν παρά μόνο να αλλάξουν.
Δεν είμαι απ'αυτους που θα χαίρονταν να δουν το Συνασπισμό εκτός Βουλής,ούτε απ'αυτούς που κυρρήσουν εν λευκώ πόλεμο με ένα κόμμα το οποίο διαθέτει ποσοστό στελεχών και ψηφοφόρων με πραγματική θέληση για μια Ελλάδα μακριά από κοινωνική φτώχια και ρατσιστικό προσανατολισμό (παρόλο που δεν θα ψήφιζα το ΣΥΡΙΖΑ για λόγους τους οποίους θα εξηγήσω πιο κάτω).
Ταυτόχρονα όμως δεν θα κριτικάρω μικροπολιτικά (στο στυλ "Που πάτε μωρέ με τον Τσίπρα") αλλά με σοβαρές πολιτικές θέσεις.
Το πρόβλημα του ΣΥΡΙΖΑ είναι κάτά τη γνώμη μου η απουσία ενός κέντρου αγώνα,η απουσία ενός βασικού οράματος,με το οποίο πιθανόν πολλοί θα διαφωνούσαν,αλλά θα μπορούσε να γίνει ο πυρήνας για πάλη και σε βάθος χρόνου απαλλαγή από φιλελεύθερες κυβερνήσεις και πολιτικές που αποδεδειγμένα έχουν βλάψει τον τόπο.
Οι θέσεις του κόμματος σε πολλά επιμέρους ζητήματα-όπως την μετανάστευση,το περιβάλλον,την ομοφυλοφυλια,την Παιδεία-θα μπορούσαν να χαρακτηριστούν στην βάση τους ορθολογικές και ως ένα βαθμό αγωνιστικές,πολλές φορές δε φαντάζουν και οι πιο ολοκληρωμένες.
Εάν όμως κάποιος αναζητήσει ένα κεντρικό κομματικό στόχο,ένα όραμα για την χώρα και τον κόσμο,θα ανακαλύψει ότι αυτό δεν υπάρχει.Αυτό διαπιστώνεται και από την ταυτότητα του Κόμματος,όπως αυτό αναγράφεται στην ιστοσελίδα του (
Ανένταχτοι "αγωνιστές και αγωνίστριες"."Αντικαπιταλιστές,κομμουνιστές,φεμινίστριες και οικολόγοι"που "μας ενώνει η κοινή αγωνία και θέληση να συμβάλουμε να βγει η Αριστερά από τη δύσκολη θέση στην οποία βρίσκεται σήμερα και να αναλάβει πρωταγωνιστικό ρόλο στις εξελίξεις".
Αυτό το συνοθύλεμα δηλαδη διαφορετικών ανένταχτων,"αγωνιστών" με διαφορετικούς προσανατολισμούς τι μπορεί να προσφέρει σε ένα λαό που έχει χάσει τον προσανατολισμό του;Όταν ένα κόμμα,δεν καθορίζει ή φοβάται να καθορίσει το όραμα της πάλης των λαικών στρωμάτων-που δεν πρέπει κατ'ανάγκη να είναι το ίδιο με αυτό του ΚΚΕ-πως θα μπορέσει να προσφέρει στον λαό την χαμένη του δυνατότητα να ελπίζει και να ονειρεύεται;
Η Αριστερά ιστορικά,πολιτικά, εκ των βάσεών της, δεν είναι ανένταχτη. Η Αριστερά έχει στόχο και αγωνίζεται μέσα από την οργανωμένη πάλη.Αυθόρμητες "επαναστάσεις" διάλυσης,βανδαλισμού χωρίς πρόταση δεν ταιριάζουν στην Αριστερά.Αυτά τα κάνουν άλλοι.Αυτοί που μένουν στα συνθήματα και δεν διειδύουν στις πολιτικές.Και ένα κόμμα που αυτοονομάζεται αριστερό δεν θα έπρεπε να ξεγελιέται.
Η Οικολογία,ο φεμινισμός,ο πόλεμος εναντίον του ρατσισμού και η υποστήριξη στους μετανάστες,φυσικά και δεν είναι μηδαμινά και ένα Αριστερό Κόμμα οφείλει να τα εντάξει στο πρόγραμμα,τις θέσεις και τις τάξεις του.Αλλά όμως σε ένα γενικό πλαίσιο αγώνα που με κέντρο τον άνθρωπο ενώνει και διαλύει τα σύνορα των επιμέρους μικρών "πάλεων" γιατί ο στόχος σε τελική ανάλυση αποδεικνύεται κοινός.
Και πολλές από τις παράπλευρες τακτικές και πολιτικές του Συνασπισμού που έχουν κριθεί πηγάζουν ακριβώς από αυτή την αμηχανία της έλλειψης προσανατολισμού.Η έλλειψη προσανατολισμού ναι,δημιουργεί βανδαλισμούς.Η έλλειψη προσανατολισμού δημιουργεί ψευδαισθήσεις για "Νίκες"-που φυσικότατα αποδείχθηκαν "Άνθρακες"- στον τομέα της Παιδείας.Η έλλειψη προσανατολισμού δημιουργεί πλαστά ποσοστά σε δημοσκοπήσεις από παλιούς δυσαρεστημένους ψηφοφόρους του ΠΑΣΟΚ που σε κάποιες εκλογές θυμήθηκαν ότι είναι Οικολόγοι.
Ελπίζω να δω τον Συνασπισμό στην Βουλή.Οι θέσεις και οι απόψεις του σε συγκεκριμένα ζητήματα μπορεί να βοηθήσουν.Αλλά δυστυχώς, αν συνεχίσει το ίδιο βιολί ακόμα και αν τον δω τώρα σε κάποιες από τις επόμενες Εκλογές θα τον ψάχνω στα εξωκοινοβουλευτικά κόμματα.Το χαμένο όραμα,την δίψα για κοινωνική δικαιοσύνη,το δικαίωμα για ίδια τύχη κάτω από ένα κοινό ήλιο αυτός ο Συνασπισμός δεν μπορεί να το δώσει...

Saturday, September 26, 2009


Σαββατιάτικο πρωινο...Ο ακτίνες του ήλιου γεμίζουν το υπνοδωμάτιο.Μισανοίγω τα μάτια.Τριγυρίζω στο κρεβάτι.Προσπαθώ να ξανακοιμηθώ.Τα κύτταρά μου είναι ακόμη πλημμυρισμένα από την κούραση μιας ακόμη αγχωτικής εβδομάδας στην δουλειά.Τα παιδιά μεταμορφώνουν την πίσω αυλή με τα γέλια, τις φωνές και το παιχνίδι τους σ'ένα τρελλό πανηγύρι.Η πάλη μεταξύ ύπνου και ξύπνιου φαντάζει πλέον γλυκιά.....Γλυκιά και άνιση.
Πηδώ απ'το κρεβάτι.Οι μουσική της ζωής ευφραίνει τα αυτία και διεισδύει στο κορμί μου.Το ανάλαφρο κρύο αεράκι αναζωογονεί την ψυχή μου.Αυτή την μέρα δεν θέλω να την χάσω.
Το φθινώπορο ήταν πάντα για ΄μένα η χειρότερη εποχή του χρόνου. Κι όμως,η ατμόσφαιρα αυτού του σεπτεμβριάτικου πρωινού μοιάζει μεθυστική.Πάω στο παράθυρο.Ο κόσμος ήδη στους δρόμους.Θέλει να ρουφήξει κάθε ίχνος φωτός πριν απ'τον μουντό, παγωμένο χειμώνα που παραμονεύει.Η πόλη δεν έχει φορέσει ακόμη το γκρίζο κοστούμι της.Είναι ακόμη γεμάτη χρώματα.Τα δέντρα καταπράσινα.Τα λουλούδια στα μπαλκόνια δίνουν την κόκκινη,κίτρινη, μπλε πινελιά τους.Τα παράθυρα στα σκοτεινά,θεόρατα κτίρια λαμπιρίζουν.
Ανοίγω τον υπολογιστή.Ξέρω, ξενέρωμα.Όχι για πολύ όμως.Για μια στιγμή.Για δέκα λεπτάκια.Γιατί ανάρτησα ένα ιστολόγιο που μένει ακόμη κενό.Γιατί αυτή τη στιγμή το πιο σημαντικό γεγονός το οποίο μπορούσα να περιγράψω είναι αυτό.Η γιορτή της ζωής.Η ομορφιά που με προσκαλεί.Η γεύση του φωτός.
Είμαι έτοιμος να το απολαύσω!